Henry Ward Beecher

All words are pegs to hang ideas on.

Yogi Berra

If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else.

Bill  Bernbach

Dullness won’t sell your product, but neither will irrelevant brilliance.

Erma Bombeck

If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.

Edward de Bono

It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor since it is a more significant process of mind than reason.  Reason can only sort out perceptions; humor is involved in changing them.

Mel Brooks

Life abounds in comedy if you just look around.

Art Buchwald

I learned that when I made people laugh, they liked me.  This is a lesson I’ll never forget.

Eddie Cantor

Words fascinate me.  They always have.  For me, browsing in a dictionary is like being turned loose in a bank.

Calvin Coolidge

I not only use all the brains I have, I use all the brains I can borrow.

J. W. Eagan

Never judge a book by its movie.

Linda Ellerbee

Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time.

Joseph R. Garber

Characters conversing in his novel Whirlwind:

“While we were talking, a thought crossed my mind.”

“Short trip.”

Samuel Goldwyn

If I look confused, it’s because I’m thinking.

Frank Herbert

Money to a writer is time to write.

Alfred Hitchcock

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

Stephen King

I have the world’s best job.  I get paid to hang out in my imagination all day.

Richard Lederer

I never met-a-phor I didn’t like.

G. C. Lichtenberg

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Robert McCloskey

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

H. L. Mencken

All Shakespeare did was to string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

George Orwell

A thing is funny when — in some way that is not actually offensive or frightening — it upsets the established order.  Every joke is a tiny revolution.

Andy Rooney

Keep in mind that you’re more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

Leo Rosten

If a picture is worth a thousand words, please paint me the Gettysburg Address.

Muriel Rukeyser

The world is not made up of atoms, it’s made up of stories.

Adlai Stevenson

Man does not live by words alone, but he sometimes has to eat them.

Robert Louis Stevenson

I have six honest servants; they’ve taught me all I know. Their names are what, why, and who, and when and where and how.

Dylan Thomas

Someone’s boring me.  I think it’s me.

Stephen Wright

What’s another word for thesaurus?

Mortimer Zuckerman

Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there.

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